Friday, February 25, 2011

Getting and Spending

Just in case you thought this was a total scam, My Heart's Desire wrote to let us know that they got a check for about $1,500 in the mail a few weeks ago.

They asked if we wanted them to spend it any particular way. I suggested that the whole amount go to a large bronze plaque of my face. Something simple. And tasteful. Like this:

(Not drawn to scale. Actual size is like, at least 3 or 4 feet long. At least.)

I also told them I thought it would probably cost a little more than the amount we raised to get a really nice plaque, so it might actually cost them a little out of pocket, but that it would totally be worth it. Because you don't want to be cheap and then have to look at a crappy plaque every day and then be all, "I totally should have shelled out the extra 2k. Biggest mistake of my life."

They suggested spending it on deworming the rescue dogs so that they are healthy enough to be adopted. I was all, "Ok, I guess. I mean, whatever. It's your money. And apparently, you think you know best. I'm just saying, nobody doesn't like a good plaque. But whatever. That's cool..."

A big thank you to all who helped make that check possible.
And if you want to be a part of the next check that goes out, it's as simple as clicking this button:


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Look What You Made Me Do

I'm trying to make a blog post about the half marathon. We made an awesome shirt for the sole purpose of taking pictures of it and posting them here for your entertainment. We took a lot of pictures of said shirt and I'm trying to figure out which one is the most embarrassing and therefore, of the greatest entertainment potential. And then you give us money. TA-DA!

So I'm trying to figure out...

Is it this one?

Orrrrrrrr how bout this one:

Or I could give you one of these:

('s the last one, isn't it?)

Here's the point. I'm halfway through training. I ran 13.1 miles wearing a really awesome shirt to demonstrate how SPEC-TACULAR your name will look when I put it in glitter. Look at those pictures. That's workmanship. This isn't some fly-by-night operation, people. We are professional glitterers. I might quit my job I'm so good at glittering.

Oh yeah, half marathon.
It was a great experience. And yes, I did finish. And I might have been the only one with a sparkle-monkey on her shirt while doing so.

2 hours and 20 minutes. I know that's slow to you real runners, but I couldn't run a 5k a year ago without walking. In the past year, I've taken roughly 10 minutes off my 5k time. And for the half, I was estimating a 2hr 30 min finish. So I'm proud of that time. And I might even try to break it on the 27th when I run my second half marathon. AWWWWWWW yeah, that's right. IT'S GETTIN CRAZY UP IN HERE.

Look out now. We're on fire.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Meaning of Money

Besides helping yourselves to a good dose of glitter and helping us run 39.3 miles, here are some concrete ways that your money will help My Heart’s Desire and all the animals:

If you donate $10, you could finance:
  • 3 gallons of gas for the volunteers of My Heart’s Desire to travel to kill shelters and rescue animals

  • 100s of information packets and flyers to educate families about proper animal care and training tips to keep animals and families happy and thus shelters empty
If you donate $25, you could buy:
  • A can of milk for puppies and kitties that don’t have a mother to get natural milk from

  • Food for 86 dogs and cats for a whole day

If you donate $50, you could supply:
  • A dog house for disadvantaged families to keep their pets warm and off the street

  • Blankets to keep dozens of animals warm at night and real comfy
If you donate $100, you could:
  • Pay half of a dog’s heartworm treatment. Heartworm is the number 1 killer of dogs in the South!

  • Feed a single animal for over a year!! Or feed 2 animals for 6 months!! Or feed 5 animals for 2 months!!

Helping us reach $1,000 would:

  • Keep the shelter open for a month

  • Completely vaccinate and spay/neuter a rescued animal

So you see, if we reach our goal of $3,930,
we can do ALL OF THESE THINGS AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So please...

Rootin' Rudy

This is Rudy. He is probably most accurately described as a crappy discarded Walmart lamp that my coworker Jennifer and I put a paper mustache on. He lives in my office. He used to be a cowboy a la Timothy Olyphant in Deadwood. Then he was a pizzeria owner ("He make-a the pizza pie!!"). Now he's a 1970s-era jogger in short shorts. I've requested some Jared-Leto-as-Prefontaine hair. Jennifer's working on that with some black tissue paper.

The most important part of Rudy's current ensemble, as you will notice, is the 3M Half Marathon Finisher's Medal swingin' from his neck like whoa. I know it kinda looks like it came out of The Simpsons, but it did not. It came out of 2 hours and 20 minutes of my life. And very soon, I can prove it when I post some pictures of that same medal swingin' from my own neck. Like a boss.

In summary, this is to say that I am alive. I have completed my first ever half marathon. I have pictures. And they will be posted here soon. They include a very special race day t-shirt that we designed just for you. One guess what it was covered in. It starts with "G" and ends in "mothertruckin' LITTER." That's right. Stay tuned.