Dear Anonymous

Yesterday we got an anonymous donation. It was dedicated to Glenn Beck's career (2000-2011, RIP). So, first I was all

But then I was all, "Wait, how can I thank this person if I don't know who he (or she) is?" (I mean, besides an animated Zach Galifinakgif. Because that is a present for the whole world.) This donor could be anyone! It could be a coworker! It could be a friend! It could be Justin Bieber! (Probably was Justin Bieber.) What to get this wonderful Canadian treasure, Justin Bieber person? I needed a Bieberone-size-fits-all kind of thing. Like a snuggie. With tiny Justin Biebers all over it. But digital. A Bieberprint snuggie for the internet.

And then it hit me. Of course. The one thing that everyone enjoys most in the world when Bieberprint snuggies are unavailable: a Blingee. A Beck Blingee.

Et... voila! Votre cadeau, mon ami anonyme.



De rien, mon amour. De rien.


PS. Just in case your imagination could not fathom its awesomenisity:

Broken Jelly Donuts

Well, crap.

Six years ago I rode on an old wooden roller coaster in the last car. I learned that it’s true what they say: roller coasters aren’t good for your back.

My back instantly hurt and I spent the next few days on the couch. But then I got up, and never really had a problem with it. Until this year.

This past January, I bent over and fell to the floor in pain. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t control my lower back. I had no idea what was happening. I finally pushed myself back against a door and I heard a pop. I could now stand up, well, not straight up.

I couldn’t really walk the next few days, certainly not upright. I went to the doctor. He said it was most likely a torn disc (which is a type of herniated disc), but people live with them all the time. I rested for a few weeks. I then went running again. A few days later I woke up and couldn’t get out of bed. I went and got an MRI.

Here are my results:

Win! Win! I have TWO torn discs (#6 and #7). Plus two degenerated (aka squished) discs (#1 and #3)!

The way my doctor described it, our discs are like jelly donuts, but when they are injured, the filling squeezes out. When the discs get upset, they shift, they get inflamed, and they get real mad. Inside the pink curved lines are where my discs have torn and are bulging out. That’s not good.

I went to the physical therapist. He said I couldn’t run for at least 4 to 6 weeks.

WHAT?!?

So I haven’t been.

But this week, I’m gonna try to start running again.

What all of this means is:

a) I’m gonna need a walker by the time I’m 30
b) I won’t be able to run the half marathon
c) BUT I WILL BE ABLE TO WALK IT!

I’m going to complete it, g-dangit. I promise.

With all the support Kelly and I have gotten for the OKC Marathon, I can’t back out now.

WE HAVE LESS THAN A MONTH! And less than $800 to raise!

Hurts, Donut?

Princess Glitterpig

This is Princess Glitterpig. No, I'm sorry. This picture really doesn't do him justice. In person, he looks more like this:

Better.

With Glitterpig's help, I got my coworkers to donate $170 last week through a week-long bake sale. It was pretty awesome. And everyone fell in love with Glitterpig. One of the secretaries adopted him through a generous donation, but his presence is definitely missed this week around the office. So I'm working on GJ (Glitterpig Junior) as a surprise thank you gift. He's currently snout-down on my living room table, having just gotten a brazillian glitter treatment this morning.

In other news, I ran my 3rd half marathon in 3 months. I finished in 2:17:54, which is over two minutes faster than my first half. I would also like to point out that this is just 30 minutes behind Troy Aikman, who was also there. Sadly, I was not as close to him yesterday as I was that one time he was getting his hair cut as the same place as me. That time I coulda reached out and slapped him. But I didn't. Cuz that's rude.

ANYWAY, with last week's donations, we are now just under $1,000 shy of our goal! And we are now officially in the last month! One month! If you've been thinking of donating, now's the time. And if you can't donate the online minimum ($10), you can throw some dollar bills at me or my sister in person and we will scramble to pick them up. Seriously. You should know by now we have no shame. (Really. How do you not know that by now?)

Eye of the Pugger

We Will Never Say "No" to Your Moneys

I was asked today "Are you still accepting donations?"

and the answer is "YES!"

We still need roughly $1,300!!!

Even if we raise that $1,300, we will still gladly and gratefully take more donations!

The sky is the limit folks. We will never say "No" to your moneys.


And we only have 52 days left!! Time is running out!



To keep your interested piqued, here are some teasers for upcoming posts:

1) My MRI results. That's right, I had an MRI. CAN I STILL RACE?!?!?!?


2) Kelly's results from her latest half marathon. DID SHE IMPROVE HER TIME? DID SHE GLITTER AND SHINE?


3) A sweet montage video featuring this:

Getting and Spending

Just in case you thought this was a total scam, My Heart's Desire wrote to let us know that they got a check for about $1,500 in the mail a few weeks ago.


They asked if we wanted them to spend it any particular way. I suggested that the whole amount go to a large bronze plaque of my face. Something simple. And tasteful. Like this:

(Not drawn to scale. Actual size is like, at least 3 or 4 feet long. At least.)

I also told them I thought it would probably cost a little more than the amount we raised to get a really nice plaque, so it might actually cost them a little out of pocket, but that it would totally be worth it. Because you don't want to be cheap and then have to look at a crappy plaque every day and then be all, "I totally should have shelled out the extra 2k. Biggest mistake of my life."

They suggested spending it on deworming the rescue dogs so that they are healthy enough to be adopted. I was all, "Ok, I guess. I mean, whatever. It's your money. And apparently, you think you know best. I'm just saying, nobody doesn't like a good plaque. But whatever. That's cool..."

A big thank you to all who helped make that check possible.
And if you want to be a part of the next check that goes out, it's as simple as clicking this button:

Look What You Made Me Do

I'm trying to make a blog post about the half marathon. We made an awesome shirt for the sole purpose of taking pictures of it and posting them here for your entertainment. We took a lot of pictures of said shirt and I'm trying to figure out which one is the most embarrassing and therefore, of the greatest entertainment potential. And then you give us money. TA-DA!

So I'm trying to figure out...

Is it this one?




Orrrrrrrr how bout this one:



Or I could give you one of these:



(...it's the last one, isn't it?)

Here's the point. I'm halfway through training. I ran 13.1 miles wearing a really awesome shirt to demonstrate how SPEC-TACULAR your name will look when I put it in glitter. Look at those pictures. That's workmanship. This isn't some fly-by-night operation, people. We are professional glitterers. I might quit my job I'm so good at glittering.

Oh yeah, half marathon.
It was a great experience. And yes, I did finish. And I might have been the only one with a sparkle-monkey on her shirt while doing so.


2 hours and 20 minutes. I know that's slow to you real runners, but I couldn't run a 5k a year ago without walking. In the past year, I've taken roughly 10 minutes off my 5k time. And for the half, I was estimating a 2hr 30 min finish. So I'm proud of that time. And I might even try to break it on the 27th when I run my second half marathon. AWWWWWWW yeah, that's right. IT'S GETTIN CRAZY UP IN HERE.

Look out now. We're on fire.